March 1 - Search Me - Know Me

Search Me - Know Me

by Brian Groe

Scripture: Psalm 139

Key Verse:

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

    test me and know my anxious thoughts.

Point out anything in me that offends you,

    and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

Psalm 139:23-24

Sometimes reading the Psalms makes me smile.  In several of the Psalms, between one phrase and the next David goes from "Smite them, O Lord!" to "Search me, O God!"  This Psalm is a good example of this type of emotional yo-yo. 

How precious are Your thoughts toward me, O God ... (verse 17)

O God, if only You would destroy the wicked ... (verse 19)

Yes, I hate them with total hatred ... (verse 22)

Search me, O God, and know my heart ... (verse 23).  

CS Lewis in Reflections on the Psalms says:

It is monstrously simple-minded to read the cursings in the Psalms with no feeling except one of horror at the uncharity of the poets. They are indeed devilish. But we must also think of those who made them so. Their hatreds are the reaction to something. Such hatreds are the kind of thing that cruelty and injustice, by a sort of natural law, produce.

One of the things that draws us to the Psalms is the raw emotion that David expresses.  Normally our church going is so constrained that once in a while we want to feel the extreme joy that made David dance before the Lord, or the awe at God's greatness that caused David to fall on his face before the Lord.  We don't expect to have it all thrown at us in the span of one Psalm!

This Psalm is also interesting because of the tension that exists between the opening of this Psalm and the conclusion.  David starts this Psalm by saying that the Lord has examined my heart and knows everything about me. He then spends the next 18 verses contemplating all the various ways that God already knows him.

You know when I stand, and when I sit.  You know my thoughts even when I'm far away.  You know the words I'm going to say even before I say them. 

Where can I go to escape Your presence?  If I ride the wings of the dawn, You are there.  If I go to the depths of the sea, You are there!  Even in darkness I cannot hide from You for the darkness is light for you.

You saw me before I was formed.  You knit me together in my mother's womb.  You have seen my unformed being.  

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.  They cannot be numbered!

I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!

Yet we get to verse 23 and David is pleading: Search me, O God, and know my heart.  Test me and know my anxious thought!  Doesn't God already know?  Hasn't David already acknowledged that God knows him inside and out?  

Michelangelo - Sistene Chapel Fresco
God straining to reach out to Adam.
Adam casually reaching back to God.

It is one thing to know that God exists, and acknowledge that God knows me.  Paul says in Romans 1:20 For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God. In the first section of this Psalm, David is acknowledging who God is.  

It is another thing entirely to know God.  Not just know who He is, but have a relationship with Him.  David is demonstrating this here.  He knows who God is, and what God does.  Finally in verse 23 David throws the door of his heart open to God, and says that he wants to know God as God knows all about him.  Lead me along the path of eternal life.  David wants to walk with God the paths of eternal life.  

Many authors say that this is what Jesus meant in the Beatitudes when He said "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God."  Being pure in heart means that I am walking honestly with God, admitting my failings, my sinfulness, my nature while recognizing that God knows everything about me already.  Consciously and purposely opening myself up to God without any hint of hiding.  Taking God's hand as He leads me in paths of righteousness that will lead to eternal life.  

Even a cursory reading of the Psalms will show that for David this was not a "once-for-all" decision that he made.  Instead we see in many of the Psalms that David makes a similar decision to turn to God over and over again (see for example Psalm 22, 25 and 51).  How many times do I need to turn from my sinful and prideful ways, and invite God into my life to forgive, heal and guide me back to His ways?   How thankful I am that God always hears my plea, and has mercy on me.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Amen

This is a beautiful piece by Samuel Barber called Agnus Dei (Lamb of God).  The text is in Latin so I have included the translation of the lyrics:

Latin                                            English 

Agnus Dei                                    The Lamb of God

Agnus Dei,                                   The Lamb of God,

Qui tollis peccata mundi,             Who took the sins of the world,

Miserere nobis.                             Have mercy upon us.

 

Agnus Dei,                                    The Lamb of God,

Qui tollis peccata mundi,              Who took the sins of the world,

Miserere nobis.                              Have mercy upon us.

 

Agnus Dei,                                    The Lamb of God,

Qui tollis peccata mundi,              Who took the sins of the world,

Dona nobis pacem.                        Grant us peace.